Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize