I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
