how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
