I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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