I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
