Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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