Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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