the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
