careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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