I'm so fucking centered right now
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
