I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
