You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
