I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
