I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you mean i was at the winter classic?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize