I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
