dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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