I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Still dying that you shit outside
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
