There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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