dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
