He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
