from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
