And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
