Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My underwear smells like fireworks.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
