He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
