that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
