just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
