My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
