we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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