Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize