Cold hands, warm shart.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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