You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
