Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
