i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she told me i tasted like america
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
