I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize