let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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