Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
