it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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