My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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