well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
