Buhtt sex?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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