Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
