Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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