Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize