Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
