Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
