I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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