My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
