I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i just google imaged poop.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
