I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize