He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
