im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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