There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
