i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I checked into jail on foursquare
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
