Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
