I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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