he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
