Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Randomize
