"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
