actually, I'm a sock model
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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