it wasn't lemon gatorade
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
