shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
