I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
