We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
