if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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