He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
