How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
