I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
