Swine flu. Run for my life!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
