for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
